So, I haven't posted since last summer. Basically, I ran out of time. So much has happened in this almost-year that it will be hard to summarize it.......... but here I go!!
Starting chronologically from last summer.
I don't remember much, but it was between my junior and senior year of high school. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time (Scott), and found someone else. His name is Jade. Our relationship was always erratic and strange, but I loved it at the time.
School started, I was in two choirs and two AP classes. It was a lot of work. I learned to love my teacher, Mr. Bolyard, and tolerate others. I learned that maybe I don't want to be a marine biologist if I can barely do the labs in AP Biology. I also learned that people don't really think I can do a whole lot on my own. Maybe I can't. My best friend also moved to California during the summer, and she changed since she lived here, so we don't really talk a whole lot. I am no longer really a part of her life.
During the school year, Jade and I were "going steady," though we did get in a lot of fighting. I loved him like I loved nobody else. That might sound pretty naiive coming from a high schooler, but I did. When I lived at my parent's house, we would talk on the phone for hours and hours, and we'd laugh and be totally ridiculous. We got along really well, although we could hardly see each other because of my parents' overprotective natures. Once I moved out (a story that will be continued at a little later) we basically fell apart.
Detour:
Previously to Jade, I was always in the position of not really caring about the person I was in a relationship with. I will admit that that is really mean and low, but I didn't know how relationships went. I care about Jade a lot because he had such a past. He was not very happy, and I think that is how our relationship ended. He had a lot of anger that he didn't really know how to deal with, and a lot of times it was taken out on me. Now, I am not painting myself to be the victim here, because I definitely did some hurtful things back. We yelled and blamed and ranted, and we both claim the other to have played mind games. Which is why we are no longer together.
Fortunately, he has changed. He no longer gets mad instantly, and he is much more reasonable. And he wants me back. Unfortunately, so does old boyfriend now that he realizes that I am no longer with Jade. It is an understatement to say that this little situation is emotionally distressing... and it is for them too. If I would just make up my mind, there would really be no problems.
It is really hard to choose between two people you really care about, especially when you are the only one a person has to talk to in their life, and also when the other person's friends basically think you are a slut and only playing their friend. I really didn't know what to do, and still basically don't.
Anyways, back to chronological order:
My 18th birthday was February 20, which is in the middle of my senior year of high school. I could not stand to live in my parent's house anymore because of the whole evil step-mother thing I had going on, and so I moved to my "Gramma's" house. My "Gramma" isn't actually related to me, you see. She is my dad's ex-girlfriend's mom, and she used to babysit me while my dad was at work when I was a baby to about three. My parent's house was a little closer to my school, seeing as my Gramma's house is two cities away. It was tedious having people drive me back and forth, because I lost my permit over the summer and didn't get a new one. Fortunately, I got my license, though I still didn't drive myself to school because I was usually too tired. The last bit of school was really really busy, getting ready for graduation. My dad's ex-girlfriend, which is my Gramma's daughter always liked to breathe down my neck and be in my business. Granted, she did help me with getting a job and everything, but she liked to parent me too much, and that is what I wanted to get away from. Because of busy graduation, I sort of quit my job at the theater (where I worked concessions) and buckled down for graduation.
This upset the man of the house, which is Gramma's divorced husband. They still live together, and technically it is his house. He decided that if I didn't have time for a job, I didn't have time to go anywhere else. He also decided that I could not drive the cars. I find that quite ridiculous, but I suppose it makes sense. I just really wanted time to settle down and have a little teenager time, but I guess that won't really happen.
I graduated May 22, 2012. It was not as emotional as I thought it was going to be. I left so quickly that I did not get my diploma (and still haven't.... shoot.) I went to my parent's house where my dad made brats and hamburgers. The only people to go to my graduation were my parents, siblings, grandparents, and one aunt. I invited all of my 11 aunts and uncles and their families. Oh well. Jade was also there, and he was very upset afterwards. I talked to him at my parent's house, while falling asleep. I left to go to the senior party which started at ... ten? I really didn't want to go, but I figured I would regret it if I didn't. I was already super tired when I walked in the door, and when I walked in, I was greeted with adults who wanted my shoes and car keys. No one could really leave until four in the morning. That was a long night. I was a huge bore during the whole thing, and fell asleep on a cafeteria table.
I slept for basically two days straight, and now, here I am, squeezing in this "little" update before I go to lunch with Gramma and her husband and grandson....
I am not sure what I am going to do with this summer, seeing as how I quit my job and haven't been accepted into any colleges....... I am feeling kind of down. But I will stay optimistic. After all, I now live by a pool. : D
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