Things are changing... AGAIN

I haven't written in a while.  It always takes me a few days to digest huge life changes.  I only realize it is a turning point until after the fact.  I can't even really tell anyone about it either.  Not that there is anyone to tell.  So here I am, telling nobody and everyone at the same time.

I got something that I have been wanting for at least a year and nine months.  It is severely underwhelming, but also overwhelming.  I never thought I would actually get it.  I don't know what to do with it now that I have it.  I did pray to God asking him to make the right decision for me, since I don't consider myself an adult that can make the right decisions for myself.  I hope he was part of the decision-making process.  I also hope that the decision that was made helps Scott.  I want him to be happy and do what he wants to do.  I hope that whatever happens he never grows to resent me because I want to further my education and do what I think would further me.

I hope that he also does something that furthers himself, and I hope he has the good fortune to be hired somewhere he wants to work.

Anyways, since I can't particularly go into that situation, I will over-analyze another.

I started back up my Facebook the other day to ask my once-friend how I should go about starting at BSU again, and all of a sudden, I got a message back saying to never speak to each other again.  I was really taken aback.  Since there are no names, I can safely say I saved this person's life.  One night, I felt he/she was in danger of committing suicide, so I called the police.  He/She thanked me and told me he/she really appreciated that I did that and that therapy was really needed.  And then I am basically told to fuck off?  That has really bothered me lately. I just want to know why. When I asked, I was just told "I am moving on from high school and can't do that if you are still giving me the time of day. Sorry." What the fuck does that even mean?

I don't know why the things people say to me affect me so much.  I wish people would understand that what they say may actually make a difference in someone's life.  Unfortunately, nobody really cares.  I am just a bitch.

Also, on the topic of people saying things to me that I can't let go of,  my bff told me I came second to her mean jerk of a husband she has known a fraction of the time she has known me.  I can't even describe how much that hurt.  I mean, even if you felt that way, you should never say it out loud.  Like you don't tell obese people that they are fat and disgusting.  However obvious, it is still hurtful to say out loud.

GOD SHUT UP NOBODY FUCKING GIVES A SHIT.  You are just a fucking whiner.

Seriously. I am worthless. K bye!